


Roses Are Red, But So Is Blood Too

by exposeyou



Series: I Used To Know You When [4]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, RPF - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-03
Updated: 2010-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-12 09:46:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exposeyou/pseuds/exposeyou





	Roses Are Red, But So Is Blood Too

Jude goes to see Melissa the next day, but not because he wants to  – he goes because he can’t quite look Ewan in the eye. Ewan, for his part, had taken his quietness to be guilt at sleeping around – which of course it was – and was suitably pleased at this show of contrition. The misunderstanding was too much for Jude to bear, and so now, here he is, on the tube to see his girlfriend. He likes her but he doesn’t love her. She’s a nice enough girl, with tasteful highlights and a good job in accounting, but like so many other women before her, she just doesn’t hold Jude’s interest. He’s been sensing the approach of the end of their time together for a few weeks now, and the necessity to break this pattern for longer. He has vaguely wondered if there is something wrong with him, but if there is, it doesn’t seem to be the sort of thing he could do anything about.

Yes, Melissa is a nice enough girl, and he is sure his parents would like her, but he is not unhappy two hours later when he gets back on the tube, newly single and having narrowly dodged the vase she threw at his head. An unnecessary gesture, he thought, as he had just bought her flowers. In fact, he is feeling rather upbeat. His life has just become considerably less complicated. However, going back to the flat doesn’t seem an attractive prospect just yet.

So he tells Jonny and himself that he was just passing by, and they both know that he’s lying. They drink tea at the kitchen table and make small talk about the storm last night until Jonny runs a hand up his thigh. Exasperated, probably, both at Jude’s obvious motivation for visiting and his inability to voice it.

Jonny has spent a long time waiting, after all. Oh, its not that he isn’t crazy about Ewan – they’re good friends, and bloody brilliant in bed together – but he feels that its the kind of warm, expansive, puppyish love that Ewan feels for everyone, Jude included. Its hair-ruffling, shoulder-punching, pint-sharing – essentially over-enthusiastic friendship, that, given the right circumstances, easily converts to sex. This is a brand of affection that Jonny is well-acquainted with, and he enjoys it. It’s uncomplicated. Its not the same though, as what he feels for Jude, and the problem is that he doesn’t _like_ what he feels for Jude. Its crept up on him, and to admit that he might have wanted this man for longer than two days would be tantamount to saying that he was only spending time with Ewan to get to his mate – which would be a lie. He genuinely does like the guy. But Ewan – Ewan gives his love away too easily. Ewan is in love with Jonny, and Jude, and his motorbikes, and his record collection, and the way the sky looks when it’s just been raining, and the Labrador in the ground floor flat. It’s fun and its easy and Jonny does revel in it, but it means that Ewan isn’t half as interesting as Jude. It may be clichéd but it’s something Jonny has found to be true – things are much more enticing when you can’t have them, so Jude, with his aggressive heterosexuality, his guardedness, the carefully built-up appearance of slumming it, the reluctance to ever quite relax – well, it’s all quite attractive, isn’t it?

And that’s why he’s going to give this another go, why he’s determined to make him enjoy it this time. He straddles him on the kitchen chair, kisses him deep and hard until Jude is practically panting, but pulls away every time Jude tries to take control. Pretty soon this tactic has Jude reduced to a horny, frustrated mess, which was the plan.

When Jude can’t take it any more, they fuck on the kitchen floor. Jonny does that thing with his tongue that makes Jude squirm both in pleasure and embarrassment (He doesn’t know it at the time, but a few years from now, when he has to project the right air of uncomfortable sexual tension for _Ripley_ , it is this moment that he will hold in his mind) and once he’s inside him, Jude is relaxed enough – just – to actually enjoy it.  

Jude is pretty sure that Jonny is a slut, and this opinion doesn’t change when he starts sleeping with him. Ewan sees things differently – to him, Jonny is laidback, easy to please, fuss-free. This, of course, might be because Ewan is just as promiscuous as he is, if not more. On the other hand, Jude might have his own rules about multiple partners, but aside from the gender ratio, his brand of serial monogamy isn’t all that different from the others’ tendency to pick up people in clubs. Jude just feels that the rituals of taking a girl out to dinner and buying her flowers makes everything more respectable, somehow.  Anyway, he doesn’t feel too bad about using Jonny as a substitute, inasmuch as he thinks of it at all. The way Jude sees it, if it wasn’t him having cold, emotionless sex with Jonny, it would be someone else. Better the devil you know, and all that.

The things that make him uncomfortable...He doesn’t mind having sex with one of his friends, its not as if he hasn’t done that before, with women. And the fact that Jonny is a man...Well, that bothers him less than the feeling that he isn’t in control of the situation. He’s done enough angsting over being attracted to Ewan that the idea of being gay, or bisexual, or whatever, isn’t much of a problem any more. But he really does like this feeling of helplessness. He supposes that at least it has been him going over there each time, making that choice. But whilst he enjoys the sex, he doesn’t like this role reversal.

The next time, then, things are different. Jude walks through the door confident, sure of himself, and Jonny is on the bed with a rough mouth over his before he’s even had a chance to offer Jude a drink or take his coat. He’s taken aback by this change of attitude, but pleased, definitely. This forcefulness, this passion, is what Jonny is used to, and he’s so relieved that Jude is no longer a little-boy-lost bundle of nerves that it barely dents his happiness when, unbuttoning his shirt, Jude breathlessly demands “tell me what you do with Ewan”.

He moves on to biting his neck before he elaborates. “What he does to you, you know, what do you like?”

Once Jonny realises that he’s bringing Ewan up not as a jealous confrontation but as an invitation to some dirty talk, he gladly obliges. He whispers low and fast in Jude’s ear, and the inspiration does the trick. Soon he’s being fucked face-down while Jude tells him what a dirty little slut he is, and he doesn’t even care that he’s made himself sound like a whore by recounting that story about when he let Ewan fuck him in an alleyway, because this feels so _good_ , and when Jude sinks his teeth into his shoulder it sends him plummeting straight over the edge. Its only when Jude rolls off of him and his vision fades back in that he realises they didn’t use a condom. Bugger.

All in all, Jonny is pleased with the night’s proceedings. Sure, he could have done without the mention of Ewan, and he’s uncomfortable about the lack of protection - or maybe just annoyed that he didn’t stand up for himself -  but he can stand to hear his friend’s name if filthy anecdotes mean that Jude can relax, and actually act like he wants to be there. As for the other, he just pushes that to the back of his mind as a problem he can deal with in the morning. Yes, all in all a definite improvement on the quiet, shaking and prone Jude who just showed up, got his satisfaction, and left.

 Jonny dabs arnica on the string of bloody marks that trail from his neck to the back of his left shoulder, and doesn’t mind the sting, because at least it’s as if Jude is in the room now. As if he wants to be there, with Jonny. When Jude comes in behind him and slips his arms round his waist, it’s perfect. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about not – fuck, did I do that?” Jude inhales sharply when he sees what he’s done to Jonny’s neck. “I’m sorry, Jay, here...” and Jonny doesn’t know which he’s more thankful for: the fact that he actually cares, or the nickname, or the string of gentle little kisses he leaves where he was so rough not long before. It occurs to him that a little bit of tenderness is something that he’s been missing, and he turns round to face Jude, and leads him back to bed.

In the morning, though, he’s not surprised when he wakes up alone, just annoyed with himself. Jude is usually out the door before Jonny has even managed to get his jeans back on, so it was stupid of him to think he might stay this time, tender bathroom moment aside. So he’s childishly excited when he wanders into the kitchen to see him sat there smoking a cigarette and eating Nutella on toast. He doesn’t even admonish him for smoking in the kitchen.  He potters about making coffee and cracking jokes about domesticity, half certain that this is it, Jude is over Ewan, and half ignoring the voice in the back of his head that says _what if he just doesn’t want to go home?_


End file.
